Wednesday, April 24, 2013

You Have The Right to Be Happy

People in your circle might making you feel like you owe them something.  They may be making you feel like if you don't respond to their every whelm, they won't be your friend any more.  Well, I have good news for you!  Time for some Spring cleaning from old friends and time to get some new friends.

But here one thing I want you to look for when you are selecting, that's right, selecting new friends into your circle (Don't just bring in anyone that wants to be your friend; you are more valuable than that.  don't fall under the trap that because they want to be your close buddy, now you are obligated to be their new friend.  Hecky Naw!!!   Don't fall under the trap to believe that it's your responsibility to cater to a friend who is blaming you for their own problems or constantly dumping their problems on you.   You are never in a position of   Social Welfare.   Welfare from the government can easily give people the idea that the government owes them something.  Not all people who accept government support is like this, but if you're not careful people will try to abuse you just like they abuse the government.
While we're on this subject, let's talk about a spirit of debt.  This  is worth study:  Study the symptoms of people under extreme financial debt.

They will emotionally drain you.  They have a demanding spirit.   They feel like victims.  They feel like everybody around them owes them something.  Why?  Because they decided to be irresponsible and they are blaming everyone and everything but themselves.  Now debt has becomes a bully just like everything else.  They most likely will even blame God and call Him all kinds of names other than all generous, all kind, all compassionate.   A rich person doesn't have the spirit we describes of debtors at all.  I have friends who are NOT under a spirit of debt or financial bondage and I observe their behavior.  They are normally giving, they normally abound in generosity    Why?  Because they are acting under a spirit of financial freedom.  Getting out of debt is not just a practically wise idea, it's God desire for you because it affects your attitude on life and what life is really all about!  Life is about living it abundantly.   Your destiny involves you being debt free.

I have been around a lot of friends these days who behave under fear, constantly;  they behave like they are victims, some act like you owe them something, many of them act very conditionally (based on conditions, like "on condition" is their best friend) and ungrateful in hearts.  Let's start to surround ourselves around givers.  Now it may be uncomfortable to hang around these kind of people because it may expose some bad characteristics about yourself.   You can't hang around a group of manipulators and not catch some of their symptoms.  You need to take a very close look, annolize your own behaviors, recognize them and beware when they come up.

Recently, I have found friends who love performing music like myself and they are just giving people.  They are responsible and are living happy lives.   I noticed that I liked being around them, but later I began to observe my behavior.  I noticed that I (The most perfect person in the world! haha -not true)  was trying to manipulate them in small ways.  I would start sending them texts constantly, asking for advice, asking for this, asking for that.  I look back and I can't believe the kind of person I was.  This mostly showed it's very ugly face in my work area.  If I wasn't responsible in accomplishing a task, I would quickly call someone and ask them to bail me out.  One day, one friend needed help and wasn't very willing to help, although I had asked this person over and over again for their help and they would come through.   Why am I saying all this?  Because we need to work on being the kind of friends we want to be around!  It's no coincidence why we gravitate towards manipulators and manipulators gravitate towards us.  We need to examine our negative behaviors and start being what we want people to be for us.

I was a professional at blaming my environment.  Pursuing my Masters has taught be many things.  I thought that I couldn't finish my Masters because of the people:  they're mean, they're all negative (whenever you see the word ALL come out of your mouth about people, it's time to examining your thinking), all people in Toledo don't have my best interest in mind.   This is false, and in fact, you may have been placed in this type of environment to get over yourself, and start growing a garden in your toxic land of remorse.  Time for some spring cleaning of your attitude, and then spring cleaning of your environment.  

(As you look at the following sentences, think about whether you have behaved in a way that would make people think this way about you.)   Be aware of people who act like they are doing you a favor to be in their presence are not your friend, they are manipulators; these people are all around, but don't feel guilty or let them pressure you to feel guilty about living free, being happy, and pursuing an AMAZING LIFE.   You can never do enough for people who feel like they are victims.

For years I tried to appease people who were victims.  I started to second guess many of my decisions because i was making them based on whether it will make this person happy or that person happy.  I'm done with all that.

I'm determined to please God and not people.  If you feel the same way, listen, find a friend, give them a call and have coffee, because it may be time for spring cleaning of old friends and gathering new ones!  I pray God bless you to surround yourself around great, great people as we work on being the kind of person who inspires, motivates, and thrusts others on to new levels!  You have the right to be happy, and the incredible gift to make millions of other people happy as you go!

Go and God bless you today. :)       

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