My wife and I are not perfect. We fight, especially when we're tired and with two jobs, a Phd program, student loan debt, and a 11 month old, there is bound to be a time when we will fight. Truth is we have done well so far, but when we fight I know two things: 1. it reveals underlying problems that we must face and 2. God wants to do something amazing in our lives, but first there's a hump we have to get over.
When we experience problems, there is one thing that the enemy tries to do: he tries to give me other options of people to go to to solve my problems. But I decided that Kayla is the only girl I would run to, but the enemy still tries so what do I do? Get brothers to keep me accountable, yes! But the one other thing that I resolved to pray when the enemy says, "She's not your Rachel, she's your Leah. She's not the one you really want. See what she did! See how she's treating you!! She can't be the Rachel for you!"
When I hear these accusing voices I run to God. Because here's the truth: If satan is saying that to me, he's probably trying to say the same things to my wife, "See! He's not being your Boaz right now!! He's not acting like it!! See!! See!! See!! See!" Shut up, satan!! One thing I don't do is run from satan. I tell him to be quiet and here is why! Here's what I've resolved.
I love my wife too much to keep her tied down. I want the best for my wife. So I say, "God, make me her Boaz!" She deserves to have a Boaz. Cause I know how bad I want Rachel. And if she wants Boaz as bad as I want Rachel then I hope she has the same prayer. God get "me" out of the way! She deserves a real Boaz and only you gave give this to her. God, get "me" out of the way of the plans and dreams you have for her! I don't want our dreams to die, God. I'm not willing to have my way so that we both lose.
Sometimes, when we fight I'm reminded of 1 Kings 3, where one woman was trying to say that this baby was her baby, but the truth is the woman's son died at night and she stole the other woman's son and posed the baby as her own. When the problem was presented to Solomon, Solomon said,
Cut the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other” "Then the woman whose child was the living one spoke to the king, for she was deeply stirred over her son and said, “Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him.” But the other said, “He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him!”
Then Solomon said, “Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him. She is his mother.”
Sometimes, when we fight, we are battling for our own dreams, not realizing that there are no longer two dreams between us, but only one. Now, are you willing to have your way so that both of your dreams die. Or are you willing to sacrifice so that this one dream left can live? I heard God say to me, "Are you willing to lose your dream if it means that she have all that I have for her, or are you too willing to have it your way that you will crush her dreams to have it!?
And I hear God asking both me and Kayla this question: Your "baby" is all the dreams, hopes and plans I have for you here on this earth. Is Kayla willing to sacrifice herself to let your dream live? Jeremy, are you willing to sacrifice yourself so that my dreams and my goals and my plans for both of you live??
I have to answer this question. What about you? Are you willing to give your spouse over to be free or are you bitter because you won't have your way that you are willing to let both of your dreams die??
If you'd like to accept Jesus into your life today, pray this simple prayer of God's love and grace today: Lord Jesus, I thank you for dying for all my sin; now Lord I invite you into my heart. Come and be my everything today and forever. Forgive my sin as I make You and you alone Lord in my life. Amen. Now read the book of God's love in the Bible: The book of John chapters 1-21. God promises He will guide your life. Pray and ask God to bring the right people into your life. God will guide you to the right church full of people who love His words in the Bible. Our God is so faithful. God bless you today.